This Is Not A Sugar Free Post @CWPFairfield. It Was a Double Twin Threat From Brittany and Kelli

In Kentucky, my colleague Alice became famous for her tubs and tubs of Dubble Bubble chewing gum that she stored in her history classroom to train juniors and seniors as Pavlovian Sea Lions. This summer, thought, to change the institute's feel, I purchased a bucket of Dubble Bubble for the Young Writers (to be like Alice) and, at the last minute, chose to put a few wads of wrapped bum in each of the beach pails designed to harvest writing gear for teachers.

Within day two, however, I realized I made a tremendous mistake.

The Double Twins from the 80s commercial, Jayne and Joan Boyd, channelled their jaws of steel to exist upon two teachers in the summer institute. By day three, I had to replenish the bubble gum bucket and, yesterday, I was reprimanded for having the audacity not to write about them on my blog.

They belong to a community of gum chewing addicts and, although-Willy-Wonka's-father-in-the-horrible-remake-of-a-classic-movie would not approve, I'm thrilled to see this dynamic duo in pre, mid, and post-chew.

Why? Because it inevitably will continue again, round after round after round, chew after chew after chew.

I think about my teeth, too, my dental issues, and my luck and I know that if I consumed as much as they, my teeth would fall out and I'd look like Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show. Wait a second. Statler and Waldorf, that's who they are!