Yesterday, the doctor doing the phlebotomy was training a new member of his staff and teaching her techniques and terms while they cut into the back of my leg, inserted a fiber wire, projected fluids into the vein, and ran both all the way up my leg. He said, "This will sting a bit," which I was ready for, but I yelled out "Whoooooo," as a feeling of an electric laser beam ran up my leg, followed by a tsunami of liquids. I was on my stomach and wasn't able to see what was going on. I was biting my arm. It wasn't painful as much as it was awkward. The leg doesn't usually feel that way. I pictured the back of my leg sliced open, but the incision is tiny. The procedure (and electric zip I felt) was all internal from the running of the materials in my leg.
"The vvs and bcv here, is calcifying against the calf muscle. Look at the ultrasound. See the ventricle departure at b6 as it leads towards the pulmonary G4. That's what you want."
He interpreted this for me as, "You're second heart is in your calf muscle and the veins and muscle create a co-dependent relationship. The calf doesn't like losing one of its veins and so we insert the fluids to help the separation. It's very thirsty. The calf will soak up all the fluids if it can."
I responded, "Moo." "I suppose this is an udderly ridiculous procedure."
"Ha. Ha. That's pretty funny," he continues. "Now you're going to feel another sting as we zip up to the H4."
Yup. Moo, indeed. But procedure two, a success.
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